To mentor is to provide trusted advice during the learning adventure of the mentee. That is, mentors share the truth of their lived experiences when the mentees are ready (and sometimes not ready) to listen.
Mentors share their experiences in a friendly, conversational way from close in or far away. They have a vested interest in their mentees gaining personal insights into living their extraordinary lives and/or co-creating well-living workplaces.
A mentee, ready to engage in mentoring, is often heard to say: “I know I am stuck and with your experience you can advise me to see my knowing”.
My Mentors, My Mentoring
I have had two notable mentors in my life. One was a playground supervisor when I was in my late teens – he showed me the path of creativity and freethinking. His spirit remains with me today even though I cannot remember his name. Through his encouragement I began to write poetry as a way to express my feelings.
A second mentor gave me the gift of his time to dialogue and expand ideas. When Gerard passed from this world, I bought a portion of his estate re: the terms and concepts, processes and instruments to undertake workplace cultural assessment. Then, through continued research and considerable thinking, reflecting and presenting, I continue to honour our mentoring relationship by expanding our/my theory and practice.
And today, I mentor others. I do so because ‘you educate what you love to learn.’ When I mentor I pass along ideas, tools and techniques I have learned. More importantly, our conversations also generate new ideas that expand my thinking and practice.
Every mentee is unique and deserves to be honoured and celebrated.
~ Stephen Hobbs
14 Truths about Mentoring
From a mentor-mentee perspective, here is what I have learned about mentoring:
- The mentor starts from the perspective that the mentor is guiding the mentee to the mentee's knowing. They are both engaged in social construction of knowledge.
- The mentor connects with the identity the mentee offers. That is, the mentor starts with who the mentee is today. For example, if the person is opening a new business, the mentoring starts with entrepreneurship and the mentee being an entrepreneur. In doing so, there is shared context for the mentor's relationship with the mentee – a place to start that is public to both.
- Mentoring is a person-centred, learning-centred (humanistic) approach that involves shared trust, respect, fairness, caring, responsibility and a willingness to develop community.
- The mentor is asked to become engaged by the mentee. And yet, the mentor must have the where-for-all to know when the request would not benefit both parties and thus decline to become involved. The decision to mentor is with the mentor; this decision is sacred to the mentor.
- The mentor recognizes that the mentee is on a learning journey (adventure) where and when the mentee may [or may not] request guidance. Because of the trust and respect in the relationship, the mentee knows that what is shared is for the mentee's consideration and decision.
- The time spent together is usually of a duration that matches what the mentee needs to learn from the mentor's lived experience.
- The shared (learning) conversation is dynamic, open and nurturing. Both intend to ensure that what is said is relevant and applicable. Confidentiality is the glue that binds the relationship.
- The connection can be close in and/or far away. While face-to-face exchange has its advantages, technology-supported connections do allow for distance mentoring. However, there is something to be said for a real voice, seeing a real face, and listening through body language.
- Mentors seek fair exchange in the arrangement. While the mentor has a vested interest in the mentee gaining insight, the exchange has the mentor fulfilling a need to be in service – the view to serve originates from a sense of informed quietness.
- It is up to the mentee to use the insights gained from the conversation wisely. While the mentor helps lay out options, it is the mentee who makes the ethical decision to proceed.
- Mentors acknowledge and support mentees to continue their learning through the use of praise and the sharing of knowledge, skills, and attitude insights.
- The relationship is more transformational than transactional. And yet, when possible, the relationship becomes transcendent. That is, individually and together, the mentor and mentee are going somewhere without either knowing where they will end up. Their relationship requires faith.
- Each mentee is unique and deserves to be honoured and celebrated.
- The mentor is a partner, a companion and a 'guide on the ride.' The mentee counters feelings of loneliness along the shared journey. The mentee knows someone is present with whom to share thoughts and feelings.
In Summary
To experience the joy of my 14 truths about mentoring here are 5 questions. Based on your responses - what action will you take today in support of mentoring?
- Who has mentored you?
- What were the gifts of this mentoring?
- Who is mentoring you today?
- What are the gifts of this mentoring?
- Who can you mentor?
- What gifts can you offer the mentee?
- If approached to mentor at work, and you know the arrangement is not workable, are you willing to say NO to the request? And if your response is NO, how will you respond to the request?
A version of this article was posted 2007 ... now updated.
My best mentor is a mechanic - and he never left the sixth grade. By any competency measure, he doesn't have it. But the perspective he brings to me and my life is, bar none, the most helpful.
~ Brendon Burchard
To Work Well Together involves mentoring!
Available Now to support his Mentoring 18-04 post:
Managing - Leading Mentoring in the Workplace
(2017)
eBook ... Dr. Stephen Hobbs
Click image to the right to access Amazon Kindle and PDF versions of the book
Are you an entrepreneur operating a small to medium size business with employees or an entrepreneurial mentor - facilitator - coach - consultant, & you determine...
It's Time to Work Well Together as YOU Make an Extraordinary Business Pivot to Deliver Your Products, Services, and Experiences in Smarter Ways, to Larger Audiences, with Better Conversion and Completion Rates?
Recognizing a...
Business Pivot is a conscious, organizational realignment all stakeholders communicate through the commitments they make and keep.
And, your personal commitment to the business pivot begins and continues from the point where and when you communicate accountability for your action_outcomes.
When you work with WELLth Movement, we guide you to Map, Manage, and Measure Why and How to Work Well Together through Your Business Pivot as YOU Deliver Your Products, Services, and Experiences on a Local - Regional - National - Continental - Global basis!
Use our Integrated Management-Leadership System to obtain ISO certification combined with customer and employee competence verification.
EARNINGS DISCLAIMER:
We don’t believe in “get rich” programs – only in hard work, adding value, building a real and professional career, and serving others with excellence and constancy. Our products, services, and experiences – our programs – are intended to help you share your message with a wider audience and to make a difference in the world while growing your personal brand, business, and/or workplace. Our programs take a lot of work and discipline just like any worthwhile endeavour or professional continuing education program. Please don’t enrol in our programs if you believe in the “money for nothing get rich quick” myth or ideology; we only want serious people dedicated to real professional development who want to add value and move humanity forward. As stipulated by law, we can not and do not make any guarantees about your ability to get results or earn any money with our ideas, information, tools or strategies. We don’t know you and, besides, your results in life are up to you. Agreed? We just want to help by giving great content, direction, and strategies. What we can guarantee is your satisfaction; we give you a Fairness Approach, so if you are not happy for any reason with the quality of our work, just ask for your money back. You should know that all programs by our company are for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on this page, any of our websites, or any of our content or curriculum is a promise or guarantee of results or future earnings, and we do not offer any legal, medical, tax or other professional advice. Any financial numbers referenced here, or on any of our sites, are illustrative of concepts only and should not be considered average earnings, exact earnings, or promises for actual or future performance. Making decisions based on any information presented in our programs, should be done only with the knowledge that you could experience risk or losses just like any entrepreneurial endeavor. Use caution and always consult your accountant, lawyer, or professional advisor before acting on this or any information related to a lifestyle change or your business or finances. You alone are responsible and accountable for your decisions, actions, and results in life, and by your registration here you agree not to attempt to hold us liable for your decisions, actions or results, at any time, under any circumstance. Anyway, all of our terms, privacy policies and disclaimers for this program and website can be accessed via this link. It’s basic stuff — don’t think you’re guaranteed to make money easily or at all, consult professionals before starting/operating businesses, understand there is risk in being an entrepreneur, etc — but we feel transparency is important, and we hold ourselves (and you) to an incredibly high standard of integrity. That’s why we also put our disclaimers on all our pages, why we give you our contact information for any questions, and why we give you a 100% satisfaction guarantee. Thanks for stopping by to us our programs. Until next time, make it a wellthy-wealthy day.
